Thursday, September 15, 2016

Hospital Day

Yesterday was hospital day.  Besides Cincinnati Children's IAC being absolutely wonderful, it wasn't a very fun day.

Nana stayed with Ana, and she had a great time with her cousins.  Mom came to hold Jacky, and Dad came to drive us around and carry our bags.  We were so thankful that everyone did their "job" so well!  Without them, getting and caring for Niko (& the other 2) just wouldn't be nearly as fun.

Niko is so very nervous around anyone wearing gloves.  So, the nurses weren't fooling him at all.  First came OT.  Developmentally, he's right about 11 months if you average out the milestone's he's "passed" (which is what I've been saying since we picked him up!  Mother's intuition, I suppose).  She accidentally mentioned that he seems more delayed than "just orphanage delays", but Ry and I really don't believe that.  Call us naive parents, but we truly believe his orphanage experience caused all of the things he struggles with mentally, and about 75% of what he struggles with physically.  So,  we are agreeing to disagree, and I don't mind.  Gives this mama bear more fuel for the fire.

Second, a social worker came to visit.  This visit would have been informative and helpful, if our agency hadn't been as thorough through all of our training.  So, since Lifeline really did prepare us as best as we could be, and they provided us with so many resources, this meeting felt more like a counseling session for me, and less about Niko.  Don't like that we had to pay for that, but whatever.  This meeting came in a package with the other consults, so it was worth it in that respect.

Third came in the doctor.  She has adopted internationally herself, and has been working with the IAC for so long.  It was OBVIOUS she knew exactly what she was doing, and exactly what to look for in internationally adopted kiddos, especially those who had been in orphanages.  Niko had fallen asleep, which was a blessing.  He slept through 2/3rds of the exam.  After she talked to us about everything she saw (and didn't see!), she told us that she didn't feel comfortable giving a prognosis.  She saw so much potential in our Niko, that she expects so much change in a year from now. She gave us a plan and sent us down to labs.  We will see her again in 6 months.

We got a nurse that really wasn't very friendly for labs.  I tried to ask for the best pediatric nurse and the absolute smallest needle, since he had been so traumatized by the doctors in BG, but she just stared at me.  Finally I said, "So, is that you?"  She shook her head yes and pointed to the seat.  She really could improve her bedside manner, especially around a nervous mom and an even more nervous little boy.  She tried to find a vein in one arm - nothing.  So, she went to the other arm.  Found one and was able to get 5 vials out of it before it collapsed.  He's just so malnourished - that much blood from anyone is a lot, let alone someone with a body like his.  She said if she couldn't find another vein, she'd have to bring in the IV team.  Thankfully, she found some in his hand and was able to get the other 7 vials out of there.  He screamed and screamed, but calmed down during 2 vials when I finally let him look.  Dad was trying his best to distract, but Niko has learned to ignore so well.  So, he just screamed.  And sweat.  Boy, that kid can sweat when he's nervous.  We were both soaked by the end of it.  On vial 10, she looked at my dad and said, "Ok dad, come hold his arm down so he doesn't move it."  I looked at her and said, "I know this isn't important, but I just need you to know he's the grandad.  We're not together."  She felt embarrassed and laughed.  I just couldn't let her walk out thinking that!  The doctor earlier had already confused my mom and I up, since "she heard I was so young".  Guys, I wasn't wearing makeup that day but COME ON.  I've got 3 kids.

I complimented the nurse on her vein finding skills, and we left.  Fed Niko out of the trunk, and fed Jack out of the front seat, strapped the boys in, and dad drove us back to Lou.  Both boys fell asleep eventually, but it didn't last long.  The last 30 minutes or so was full of fusses and cries.  But, we made it home and they were all happy to see their daddy.

Today, we set up PT, OT, & speech (not necessarily to talk - more to help with feeding and getting him comfortable with his mouth).  Next, we get his TB test checked tomorrow and get a referral to get tubes (the doctor said that was needed ASAP).  Our new schedule is emerging, and it has therapies 3 days a week!  What a change our boy has brought us, and I can't wait to see what he's doing by our 6 month appointment!

Monday, September 12, 2016

1 Week Home & 1 Week Healthier

Well, y'all, we made it!  We are settled, mostly with jet-lag behind each of us, and a new normal is slowly emerging through the chaos.

So many feelings have surfaced over these past several days, for each of us.  Well, except for Jack.  He's just happy & fat.

Ana has struggled with the new transition.  When Jack was born, her entrance into sisterhood was seamless.  They both acted as if each of them had been there each day of each other's lives.  With Niko joining our family, she did not transition as well.  She did not want to share - I mean, she is newly 2, so that isn't a shocker.  But now, she has to share with this boy who doesn't ever seem to go away.  We had been talking about Niko for months, which definitely helped, but that only took the edge off.  This new brother doesn't play, and no matter how many times we tell her that he doesn't know how to play with her, she just doesn't get it.  He doesn't walk by himself, so mama and/or daddy has to hold him.  He won't feed himself, so mama and/or daddy has to feed him.  My sweet girl has grown up a lot since we picked Niko up on August 22.  She now feeds herself for every meal, walks almost everywhere on her own, and constantly helps mama take care of the boys.  She also "falls" more often, needs more kisses, won't stay in bed hoping that one of us will come in and sleep with her, and has many more opinions than before.  But that's all okay - she's growing, blossoming really, into the most beautiful big little sister ever.

Ry is doing great, despite his exhaustion.  He's bonding with Niko is a similar way he bonded with the other 2 - through time & play.  Work is manageable, and he studies for his professional engineering exam at night once the kiddos are asleep.  He is wonderful, strong, energetic, and patient beyond words.

I have had my own internal battles, that I'm slowly starting to overcome.  Adoption is so different than giving birth, even if you think and prepare practically all the same.  When you have a baby, you are automatically bonded to them, via hormones, 9 months of sacrifice, and plain ol' hard work.  They are yours, and you are theirs, and there is no one that would argue otherwise.  It's obvious, beautiful, and a forever kind of obsessive love.  Adoption doesn't feel that way, or at least it didn't for me.  Niko doesn't smell like my other kids - for someone who hasn't brushed their teeth in 3 years and who has "orphanage" working its' way out of his body, he just smells, well, weird.  It's primitive, but this mama bear has a baby who doesn't smell like her babies.  His needs are greater than I expected, even with 3 years of preparation and training, and that is overwhelming.  He's growing, but his health is a mystery.  Our hospital appointment is looming, and the days are so flooded with mealtimes and naptime.

BUT.  The Lord provides, and the Lord gives peace.  He has been answering my prayers so steadfastly throughout this past month.  When I can't imagine how I'm enough, He encourages me.  When I'm overwhelmed and exhausted, because the baby won't sleep at night and the new one won't sleep during the day and the crazy girl fights me on every stance, the Lord gives me strength and patience that can truly only be a gift from above.  When I'm sitting there, holding a spoon to the mouth of a 3 year old (who has the waist of a 3 month old) for 45 minutes because he sees food and yet is afraid not to eat, and my frustration is building at the rate of the depletion of my sleep bank, the Lord gives me a wisdom that helps me peer into the brain of a child filled with past trauma.  The Lord is holding my hand and taking me one step at a time through this wonderful journey.

Our boy is growing, and has grown 2 lbs since the orphanage director weighed him at the beginning of August.  He is slowly learning how to play with his little sister - he even tried to imitate her jumping on the trampoline today.  He is learning that water is nothing to fear, and that food will always be available.  He's learning that we will always be there when he wakes up, and that he can always count on the consistency of our love.

I'm learning that feeling weird is okay.  I'm learning that feeling frustrated when all I want to do is feed him, but he won't eat, is okay.  Things just take time.  I'm learning that, sometimes, even if love grows slowly with each passing day, that doesn't mean it's not there.  And that doesn't mean I'm a bad mama.  It just means things are different, and this sweet little boy is a gift that I have to open at a pace that works for us.  I'm learning that my Niko is special, and my bond to him is special - it's not based on hormones, or the fact that we spent every second together for 9 months.  It's based on growth, time, consistency, effort, and a whole lot of faith.  Thank you, Lord, for choosing Niko for us.  He's a perfect fit in our family, and we can't wait to see him grow into the man you know him to be.

Wednesday is the 4 hour hospital clinic appointment.  He will be scared, confused, and super super nervous.  Please pray for Niko's bravery and strength.

Thanks for loving us, friends.







Saturday, September 3, 2016

Pick Up Trip: Day 14

Day 14.  The last day.  The day of travel.

3 kids, 3 and under.
3 countries.
3 planes.
Over 24 hours.

The kids did great.  Adults did pretty great too.







Sofia Airport:  It is insanely busy on a Friday morning at 5:30.  INSANELY.  I know you can just bop around Europe pretty easily, but still - wow.  That's a lot of people!  Other than that, nice airport.

First Flight:  I almost puked from nerves, despite the fact that it was a very smooth flight.  I had to pass Jack off to mom to close my eyes and pull myself together.  Ry and I tried to play Phase 10 dice to get my mind of flying, but the seemingly French mom & adult child couple in front of us were quite angry at our dice rolling.  The flight attendant told me to be careful of the lady in front of me "because she has a problem".  I know there was a huge language barrier there, but still - she was quite rude, and we had moved the dice off the tray table so it would stop shaking his chair, and moved it to the empty chair in between Ry and I.  But honestly, I didn't care.  My nerves had won flight 1.  Niko just looked out the window, and Jacky just wanted to nursey-sleep.  Ana had her beloved Ipad (she gets to use Gramm & Grandad's Ipad on trips!) so she was a happy girl.  We landed in Paris after 2.5 hours and a pretty significant plane dip going in for a landing, that caused me to yell out "What is this fool doing?!"  That was also rude.  Whoops.

Paris Airport: Not our favorite, and by that I mean one of the worst.  We got off the plane and waited for our stroller which had been gate checked - we had 4 hours here, so we had time to wait.  After multiple attempts by the French to convince us that it was completely checked and we couldn't pick it up, dad got it.  We proceeded to the bus, which took forrrrever to get to our area.  We then tried to find some lunch, but the food court we found had like 3 options, none of which were good or Gramm friendly or toddler friendly, so we moved on.  Finally found a little cafe-ish thing, which ended up costing most of an arm and a leg.  It was pretty good, and Ana surprisingly ate a quesadilla with olives and tomatoes in it (we told her it was extra cheesy lol).  While we were eating, Ana fell off the chair backwards.  Grandad, with his cat like reflexes, caught her by her legs before her head hit the floor.  Expecting crying because her hands hit the floor pretty hard and, let's be honest, the fall was pretty scary, Ry and I held our breath.  But, instead of cries, we hear "OH NO!! MY APPLE!!" as she's reaching for her apple that's rolling away on the floor, as Grandad is still holding her feet up.  We all busted out laughing, cleaned off her apple, and let the girl finish her food.  Boy, she certainly knows how to get us giggling!  We then gate checked our stroller again, and were one of the first to board (thank you early family boarding).

Second Flight: We sat in the 2nd row this time because we were told there was a baby in the first row of bulkhead seating already.  NO BABY SHOWED UP, so 3 very comfy adults sat in front of us, and the 5 of us struggled to be contained.  Gramm and Grandad sat in a 2 seater next to our row.  The kids did great, and a flight attendant got Jack a bassinet that attached to the wall in front of mom & dad so he could lay down and kick, and Ana and Niko got pretty comfy in their respective chairs.  Everyone on the flight loved the kids, and we got to share Niko's story to some - we even had some Italian ladies pray for us!  We were surrounded by sweet people.  Even when Niko threw his horse train and it hit someone's chair pretty hard, the lady just smiled back.  Another lady played peek-a-boo with Jack multiple times throughout the flight.  Grandad and Ana made "alien princess crowns", and Ana & Ry paraded them around our section of the plane, with everyone smiling on.  The flight was great - it was an older Airbus (still had the little metal openings for cigarette butts) that made sounds I didn't particularly like, but the flight was fairly smooth.  At 4 hours left, we were all very ready to get off, but we obviously survived the whole 8 hour flight.

Detroit Airport: We had 4 hours to spare, but knew we needed it.  We had to get our luggage through customs, then get Niko's paperwork to border control for him to become an American citizen!  As we waited, and waited, and waited for our luggage we were finally told it didn't make.  All 8 of our bags were stuck in Paris (I had been warned that Paris was notorious for losing luggage!) and supposedly even my stroller didn't make it, despite the fact that it was gate checked.  Unfortunately, Paris officials took our stroller claim stub, so we didn't have our stroller number.  We're still not sure if we'll ever see it again - thank goodness I didn't take my beloved double with us!  While we were lining up for customs, someone let us go into the "global entry" line, which had no one in it! 3 little kids help us get pity at just the right times!  We handed the man a gigantic stack of papers that were sealed specifically for the people in Detroit and we were led back to the passport interview rooms.  We waited there for a couple minutes, until a lady perked up and said "ok - you're good to go!".  Niko was a U.S. citizen, and it was a pretty painless procedure!  We then found a McDonald's that had very American food options (which we loved - the most delicious cheeseburgers ever!) but, as I was looking for a very normal Diet Coke, we saw that Detroit is a PEPSI ONLY AIRPORT.  I now hate the airport as a whole.  I tried to drink some pepsi, but gag-a-maggot.  The big kids napped on the floor while we had another 2 hours at our gate to wait - they had officially crashed.  Jack eventually dozed off in the sling as mom paced around our area.

Flight Three: We boarded at about 8:15.  Jack, Dad and I sat together, Mom & sleeping Ana sat together, and Ry & Niko sat together.  They originally forced Niko to sit in his seat alone, since he is technically 3, but Ry moved him to his lap during take off since he was crying.  Ry, Niko, and Ana slept almost the whole 50 minute flight.  I did pretty well on this one - I think I handle flights much better if my dad is next to me.  I told him he'll just have to accompany me on all my trips from now on :)  The sunset was beautiful - went from red in the rainbow all the way to purple.  The flight was quick, but the landing was a little rough.  Dad later told me he heard that the copilot was flying this flight - I did not want to be a guinea pig!  But, I'm obviously a flight snob.

Louisville Airport: The most beautiful airport in all the world.  Despite the construction and the empty seats, it was glorious.  Louisville airport meant we were home!  We had quite an entourage waiting for us, which was so great to see.  Niko loved giving "finger love" to everyone, and we were so happy to see all our family there!  We filed our luggage claim (hopefully will get our luggage within the next week) and then headed home.  Dunkle & AuntE had brought our van there for us, so we popped all 3 into their respective seats, came home and put everyone to bed.  They all woke up around 7:30, so there's a chance we may be on Louisville time already!  That's what being up for 24 hours will do to you!

Overall, it was an amazing trip.  We got our guy, and had some fun along the way.  But, there's no place like home and we are so happy to be here, without any trips planned in the near future.  We've just got some doctors to get to, and some growing to do.

Thank you to Gramm & Grandad for making the selfless trip to BG with us - it would not have been possible to do it without them.  Their help was absolutely invaluable, and we are forever grateful.

Thank you to Dunkle and AuntE for taking care of our pup and our home - they really loved on us from afar and made coming home so easy for all of us.

Thank you to Poppy & Nana for making sure there was food in our fridge for when we got home - we've already dug in and are so thankful there was good food waiting for us.

Thank you to Vests & cousins - you made our night with your sweet signs and all your smiles.  I know Ana was beyond excited to see her favorite cousins!  And special thank you to Erin for helping answer questions and find resources for us while we were in BG.

We've got the absolute best support team and couldn't have made it through the process without our village and your prayers.  We still have some post-adoption requirements ahead of us, and some obvious obstacles to overcome here at home, so we will continue to post about what adoption looks like once you're home.  Again, thank you for the love.  It means the world.

Thursday, September 1, 2016

Pick Up Trip: Day 13

We played.  We ate.  We walked.  We shopped.  We ate some more.  We slept.  We packed.

Tonight, Ry held Niko as he looked out of the window.  This is the last night he will be in the country he was born, the place that he has lived his whole life.  Tomorrow starts a whole new life of a whole lot of new (and wonderful) things.

See you tomorrow night, Louisville :)

We leave our apartment at 5:15am Sofia time, and land at 9:30pm Louisville time.  Pray for us, friends!  3 planes, 3 countries, with 3 kids ages 3 and under.  Lord, give us patience, energy, peace, and creativity!



  This is our caterpillar toy we bought while we were here.  It doesn't fit in our luggage, so here's our picture to remember.
 1 boy has been underfed most of his life, but is content with what he has been getting lately (which is a lot more than his normal! He's already bigger!)  1 boy has been fed what feels like every minute of every day, and yet is still angry for not being fed enough.  Who is who?

Family room


Kitchen

View from front door


Waiting for the boys, since we have to come down the tiny elevator in shifts!


On our walk today, we passed what seemed like a press conference.  Everyone was waiting for someone special to come out of this very official looking building.  We waited for a while to see who it was, not that we would know them or understand them.  No one came, but we felt special!


We found a fire truck!  Ana loved it. Niko, not so much.


Since you can't drink the tap water here, we have had to buy a lot of bottles.  This doesn't include the ones that were lost, drank at restaurants, or bought while we were out on our walks.  It was quite a lot for 6 water-drinking people.